Enhancing Relationships....

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enimity, and enimity may result in separation.

A telephone operator one day received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board". There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was stil no answer. When she was going to disconnect the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got this number from my husband's pocket but I did not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what would have happened to the couple if the telephone operator had answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticisize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start or a war. We should always remember that when we point at a person, the other our fingers are pointing at ourseves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS

A person visited the government matchmaker to find marriage profiles and requested, "I am looking for a spouse, please help me find a suitable one." The officer said, "Your requirements, please". "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest". The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need a television".

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults and the husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character".

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation". Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school". On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me, otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker". She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me, otherwise, he would have been the millionaire and not you".

Frequently exchanging these kinds of remarks plants the seed of bad relationships. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of you ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of the family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride in the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quicky asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you". Hearing this, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seemd to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost balance and fell into the river. Never in the past, not at present, and never in the future, be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear...
BE PATIENT...........

This is a true story. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three year old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boys hands as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from boy's both hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I am sorry about your truck". Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home and committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before you loose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired.... broken bones and hurt-feelings can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.